"I'm serious as cancer when I say rhythm is a dancer"
So, the question:
Can you think of a worse lyric in a song than that?
In case anyone thinks I' making this up, go to 2:38 in this video:
Cheers, Tom.
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nultygoestopartick
- 2008-09-03 @ 13:44:01
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SeasideMan
Pro - 2008-09-03 @ 13:52:56
Blimey, that's a Max Bygraves song! Excellent contribution to this discussion. We'll have a vote later on which is worse :-)
Tom. -
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"The female of the species is more deadlier than the male"
God that drives me NUTS!-
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SeasideMan
Pro
- 2008-09-03 @ 13:50:32
Is that really the right lyric? I remember it as:
"The female of the species is more deadly than the male"
but I may be misremembering.
Tom. -
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mattk
- 2008-09-03 @ 13:51:12
Unfortunately I remember that song! One of the crappest lyrics ever.
I'm fascinated by bad lyrics. Oasis and Robbie Williams were two of the worst offenders of the 90s, although I can't think of any examples of their stinky work off the top of my head.-
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SeasideMan
Pro
- 2008-09-03 @ 14:06:23
Like this monstrosity of Oasis:
"Look into the wall of my mind's eye
I think I know, but I don't know why
Questions of the answers you might need "
Tom. -
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DominicGee
- 2008-09-03 @ 13:53:35
Ha aha haha... It is really bad, I was talking and laughing to my girlfriend about it a coupla weeks back. It's what you call over-exaggerating the importance of music and dance, usually brought about by drugs.
However, what about this shit rhyme from Black Sabbath in 'War Pigs':
"Generals gather in their masses
Just like witches at black masses."
A bit lame methinks, though I like the song.
What about Cat Steven's baffling:
"You are young, that's you're fault."
Never really understood what he meant by that.
And probably the worst ever answer to the question of what women want:
"I really really really wanna zigazig ah." For some reason the Spice Girls were involved in some kind of girl power movement, but we were still left bereft of a likely explanation. -
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SeasideMan
Pro
- 2008-09-03 @ 14:12:42
That Sabbath one always amazed me too. Really poor rhyming use of the same word. Even "Generals gathered in the passes" would be preferable.
And The Spice Girls *shudder*. Mel C solo had this one:
"I couldn't live without my phone
But you don't even have a home"
Ouch.
Tom.-
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mattk
- 2008-09-03 @ 14:40:10
Much as I love Sabbath, you'd think they could have come up with a better rhyme than the exact same word! I also like their "misty morning, clouds in the sky/without warning a wizard walks by" ("The Wizard") and "heavy boots of lead/fills his victims full of dread" ("Iron Man").
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SeasideMan
Pro
- 2008-09-03 @ 14:46:51
Lyrics were never Sabbath's strong-point. I think Bill Ward wrote the bulk of them, and when Ozzy went solo he had a lot of help. Lemmy wrote some of Ozzy's most successful songs. Talking of Iron Man: "Can he walk at all, or if he moves will he fall". FAIL!
Tom. -
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DominicGee
- 2008-09-03 @ 14:49:17
There was a tool on Quark Xpress that was used to fill up pages with text called Jabberwocky. It randomly generated sentances that, although they made grammatical sense (just) were completely meaningless. It sounds as if some of these were created using a similar tool.
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SeasideMan
Pro
- 2008-09-03 @ 14:57:04
There are still a few gobbledegook generators out there. It seems that taking too many drugs has the same effect on humans.
Tom. -
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dennypoos
- 2008-09-04 @ 07:57:22
Mel C solo lyrics.
SeasideMan, you disappoint me. I will hang my own head in shame to save you from having to do it yourself. -
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loiswakeman
- http://lois.co.uk
- 2008-09-03 @ 14:19:56
Well, in terms of poor taste no: but Van the Man came up with some pretty crap ones too, f'rinstance on Veedon Fleece, and most Yes lyrics were pretentious drivel - though as I was mostly drunk at the time they seemed really cool!
My brother invented a pop group called Ken Thomas and the Body Scanners that we thought was hilarious as children. Very poor taste too (after a local charity).
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SeasideMan
Pro
- 2008-09-03 @ 14:27:44
Good call on Van Morrison. This is a great one from your link:
"You can hang suspended from a star
A wish on a toilet roll
You can just soak up the atmosphere
Like a fish inside a bowl"
Most of his were probably drug-influenced I would think. I'm quite a fan of his, but he has lost it spectacularly a few times.
I agree about Yes too.
Tom. -
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lledeb
- 2008-09-03 @ 14:36:02
"My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing ."
Leona Lewis, Bleeding love....-
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SeasideMan
Pro
- 2008-09-03 @ 14:43:00
OUCH! I hadn't heard that one before. Truly appalling.
Tom. -
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grumpus
Pro - http://grumpus.blog.co.uk
- 2008-09-03 @ 15:18:36
As a child I remember singing, without any embarrassment whatsoever, a popular song of the 1940's ...
"Mares eat oats and Does eat oats and little Lambs eat ivy,
A Kid'll eat ivy too, wouldn't you?"
Usually pronounced, "Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey,
A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you?"
Aahh! The age of innocence, while millions of people were being massacred!
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SeasideMan
Pro
- 2008-09-03 @ 15:30:01
Ah yes, they used that song in Twin Peaks. It's quite a nice song really.
Tom. -
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isadora101
- 2008-09-03 @ 18:52:33
It's a song I remember singing too(early 1950's)
I guess no matter what decade/century it is, children will always have nursery rhyme type songs and/or lullabys sung to them while atrocities happen all over the world! -
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DominicGee
- 2008-09-04 @ 12:17:10
Wow, I've always sung the second version, now I know what I've been singing all these years. Amazing, thank you.
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The Snap line is terrible! And no discourse on this subject is complete without this gem of a song.
Life - Des'Ree
Ooh yeah
Oh yeah
Oh life
Oh life
I'm afraid of the dark
Especially when I'm in the park
When there's no one else around
Oh I get the shivers
I don't wanna see a ghost
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
Watch the evening news
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
I'm a superstitious girl
I'm the worst in the world
Never walk under ladders
I keep a rabbits' tail
I'll take you up on a dare
Anytime, anywhere
Name the place, I'll be there
Bungee jumping, I don't care
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life
So after all's said and done
I know I'm not the only one
Life indeed can be fun
If you really want to
Sometimes living out your dreams
Ain't as easy as it seems
You wanna fly around the world
In a beautiful balloon
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Oh life, oh life-
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SeasideMan
Pro
- 2008-09-03 @ 15:51:26
Des'Ree - absolutely terrible! I don't think I've ever concentrated on the words to that before and my word it's bad.
Here's a very famous one by The Beatles that I should have mentioned before:
"I look at the floor and I see it needs sweeping
Still my guitar gently weeps" ???!!!
Maybe skip the joint next time, George!
Tom. -
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DominicGee
- 2008-09-04 @ 12:17:45
Ghost and toast - what a lovely juxtaposition.
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frankofyle
- 2008-09-03 @ 16:22:59
This line always gives me the giggles:
"...and when I walk through my dookdom..."
(Gene Chandler - 'Duke of Earl')
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SeasideMan
Pro
- 2008-09-03 @ 16:42:19
Gosh, I haven't heard that for a few decades. Great song, thanks for reminding me of it.
Tom. -
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HektorRevisited
- http://thewindhover.blog.co.uk/
- 2008-09-03 @ 16:27:00
Anything written by Jim Morrison. I love the Doors but most of the time the lyrics are hilarious.
From "Graveyard Poem" (which Jim recites during an extra long concert version of Light My Fire):
"Cemetary, cool and quiet,
Hate to leave your sacred lay,
Dread the milky coming of the day."
Or from "Close to You" (which is sung by Ray Manzarek):
"I wanna get
Close to you baby like black on white,
Close to you baby like the coldest of ice,
Close to you baby like a siamese twin,
Close to you baby like I’m feeling all right.
I wanna get
Close to you baby,
Well, close to you baby,
Close to you baby,
I don’t know what to say or do.
I wanna get
Close to you baby like the side of your eye,
Close to you baby like the heat is to fire,
Close to you baby close as I can get,
Close to you baby like water is wet."
I have a book for Jim Morrison's poems at home - they are wonderful nonsense.-
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SeasideMan
Pro
- 2008-09-03 @ 16:45:38
Jim really was a master of nonsense lyrics, I agree. There's quite a lot of Doors music I like a great deal, but I do think they lose it a bit when Morrison is allowed to lord it over the other too much.
Tom. -
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- 2008-09-03 @ 18:41:10
How about Barry Manilow's "Bermuda Triangle".
Not only is it, patronising and inherently sexist, but the lyrics a re so mangled and contrived so that they scan:
We decide to get away
And have some fun
Book a room and catch a flight
For two weeks in the sun
She says, "Hawaii's too expensive."
I say, "Barbados isn't bad."
She says, "I'd love to see Bermuda."
And I say, "Woman, are you mad!"
Bermuda Triangle It makes people disappear
Bermuda Triangle Don't go too near
But she Doesn't see my angle
And she thinks I'm being dumb
So Bermuda Triangle
Here we come!
Lying with my woman on The island sand
I look up and see her with
A stranger, hand in hand
I see her sitting on his blanket
I see them going for a swim
And when I run to find my woman
I find her running after him!
Bermuda Triangle
Makes my woman disappear
Bermuda TriangleDon't go too near
Looking At it from my angle
Do you see why I'm so sad
Bermuda Triangle Very bad!
Lying lost and lonely on
The island sand,
When a lovely stranger says
Hello and takes my hand
And soon she's sitting on my blanket
And then we're going for a swim
When I say, "what about your boyfriend?"
She turns and waves goodbye to him!
Bermuda Triangle It makes people disappear
Bermuda Triangle Don't go to near
But look At it from my angle
And you'll see what I'm so glad
Now Bermuda Triangle Not so bad!
But yet I love it!
XoD. -
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GilraenH
Pro - http://www.gilraen.blog.co.uk
- 2008-09-04 @ 19:47:50
Matadors, monkeys, a million balloons
first line of Men Without Hats, The End of the World-
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SeasideMan
Pro
- 2008-09-05 @ 09:55:53
Great one :-)
Tom. -
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mattk
- 2008-09-10 @ 11:14:22
"In the middle of a world on a fish hook
you're the wave, you're the wave, you're the wave"
...from a tune called Swallowed by Nirvana-wannabe band Bush.
Twats.-
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SeasideMan
Pro
- 2008-09-10 @ 16:03:27
My word, that's atrocious!
Tom.-
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mattk
- 2008-09-10 @ 16:29:52
It is, isn't it!
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- 2008-09-13 @ 21:46:51
And I quote, "Only time will tell if we stand the test of time"
I am deeply saddened to say this is a Van Halen lyric...Why Can't This Be Love...but clearly it is from the Sammy Hagar period and could never have come from the magnificent Dave Lee Roth era.
I am aware I may be the only living soul who has held a grudge against this lyric for many years...and thank you for the opportunity to get it off my chest.-
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SeasideMan
Pro
- 2008-09-14 @ 09:33:34
It's good to get things off your chest :-)
Tom. -
I'm a blue tooth brush, your a pink tooth brush.