Whenever I encounter someone new, either socially, on TV, or even passing them in the street, I form an instant opinion about them based purely on what I see and hear. I mentally grade them somewhere between "highly attractive" and "grossly repulsive". This may of course change when, and if, I ever get to know them better.
I assume other people make similar off-the-cuff and possibly irrational judgements.
My questions are: Do we all apply the same set of rules when deciding who we like or dislike? And what ARE the rules?
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la_spice
- 2008-05-15 @ 08:42:42
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soyunperdedor
Pro - http://soyunperdedor.blog.co.uk
- 2008-05-15 @ 09:32:39
I struggle with this issue because I am not a particularly attractive person and worry about being judged on the way I like the minute I step out of the front door - and yet I'm incredibly critical of the way other people look in a kind of bitchy, gossipy way, when with certain friends. I'm quick to judge, but usually correct in my opinion of people. I don't know what the rules are but I know I'm incredibly hypocritical. At least I admit it!
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sameold
- 2008-05-17 @ 01:05:46
I think your beautiful hunny x
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- 2008-05-15 @ 10:15:40
As someone who tries to follow the Bhuddist philosophy I let go of assumptions based on the look of a person and monitor what I used to use when "judging" someone, we are conditioned to make instant assumptions based on the outward appearance. I also go with my intution and allow the person to show me who they are ..really are.. if they can, which is actually quite a rare thing. I am increasingly aware of how people *hide* themselves, and I include myself in that as well.
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that's the subconscious working, it takes all the data together and renders an instant judgement to the conscious mind.
gender,
height,
weight,
age,
ethnicity,
slouching,
standing straight,
dirty hands,
shiny shoes,
combed hair,
nice suit,
old jeans,
good tie,
steel toe capped boots.
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- http://joebangles.blog.co.uk
- 2008-05-15 @ 10:36:52
I admit that somehow, intuitively, I make a decision, whether that intuition is the part that stops me getting to know that person better and thus prevents me from finding out that I am wrong is another question.
For many years I interviewed and employed very many applicants for positions with a transport company, I have to admit that the basic decision was made at the moment that potential employee entered the room. Maybe I was wrong and failed to employ some that would have been assets to the company, I will never know that, but I did have as good a work force as any company could have.
I believe that something, and I don't know what, automatically applied the same "rules" to each applicant when I first saw them, but, this did not happen when I received written applications. -
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Kibitz
- 2008-05-15 @ 11:04:51
I doubt we all apply exactly the same set of rules.
If we did we'd all instantly like and dislike exactly the same people.
Since that's not the case ... the rules must vary.
QED ... x
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loiswakeman
- http://lois.co.uk
- 2008-05-15 @ 14:08:51
I think the subconscious decision must be very personal, otherwise, old boots like me would never get married!
Some rules must be stronger than others though: probably the more basic instincts that still lurk in our brains from prehistoric times, when hunting prowess and childbearing hips actually meant survival or not, unlike one's choice of designer footwear or bling. -
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I think initially I apply the same rules. I do on here as well.
Profile picture... Profile name... location... age... and so on...
My opinion has changed from my first impression quite a few times I'm pleased to say. -
part of our primitive animal instinct. Most animals do it too, to assess where they are in relation to the new comer. Lots of our 'human' behaviour is really nothing more than basic animal instincts. In this respect, we have hardly evolved
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MonkeyPie
- 2008-07-04 @ 15:37:36
I have a similar grading function between "highly attractive" and "grossly repulsive" although most end up in the neutral zone. It's not so much based on looks as opposed to the way someone holds themselves and the way they interact with people- undeserved rudeness/complete inappropriateness pushes them straight into the repulsive section!
I expect everyone has different rules, much like everyone likes different types of people. Perhaps we instinctively approve of people we feel have similar characteristics or who we find attractive. I think though, that everyone is guilty of snap judgements, it's simply human nature to appraise another person and to do it quickly. Maybe it boils down to basic survival and having to assess a fellow human as to whether they're a threat. -
I simply trust my intuition and I'm generally spot on.